Is This The End?

It’s really hard to give up a passion that you love, considering the fact that the things around you and circumstances, force you to halt. Sighs. 😦

One of my passion in life is film making. I just love everything about it, no matter how hard it is to make a good one at the end. I love developing concepts at the beginning then forming the script, then the filming itself and lastly editing. I do enjoy considering the rule of one thirds every time I’ll shoot a particular scene. I love how the different camera shots and angles look in the screen and I just really love formulating these visualizations in my head of a particular scene then bringing it to life by making a video about it. And that’s why I came up with this little channel in Youtube called Rhian Dale where I unleash all of my hidden talents in front of a camera and show it to the whole world.

It really did scared me to think, at the first place, that there are going to be a lot of people who’ll watch these videos of mine and rate it by clicking the like and unlike buttons below each videos. But as time progresses, I realized that I lost this consciousness as I gain a number of subscribers that is beyond my expectations and received positive feedback from my audience.

I can still recall that during my first time of filming of a vlog, I was seriously nervous that time because I thought vlogging was an impromptu one wherein what pops into your head will be the very thing that you’ll say infront of the camera. I realized that it was not. Just like in making a film, it should be carefully planned as well.

I learned many things as I studied vlogging –things that you won’t learn inside the four corners of your classroom and that really made me happy and realized that this is what I want to do in the future. And for that very reason, I’m planning that after I graduate in the university, I’ll enter the field of film making, if I’m lucky enough.

As I studied vlogging, I created videos at the same time that manifests the application of all the new knowledge I learned each week and up to this day, I was able to create 28 videos since November 7, 2012.

As I think of this day, I realized that it already has been a long way since I uploaded my very first vlog. I’ve reached a good distance in studying vlogging and film making as well. This really draws a smile on my face every time. I still can’t believe that I reached this far and I know I’ve got a long way to go in the future.

However, no matter how I badly want to continue this studying and passion, it seems various things are summoning me to stop.

Apparently, one of those various things is my university life. Frankly, I am really having a hard time managing my time in doing my role as a student and a Youtuber that eventually leads to the decision that I need to sacrifice one and most of the time that is my Youtube career. I cannot stop and become a dropout at the university because, to finish my studies is one of my goals in life and I also don’t want to let my parents down.

Second is my problem in the lack of equipments. Of course, as a Youtuber you must also possess cameras, lights, a very good computer and a video editing software and sometimes Photoshop and as you can notice in my videos, I lack those things. No matter how good your content is, but if you lack these things, your whole vlog production may lead to a failure. And that sucks, seriously, and difficult as well. Every time I’m going to film during the night, I’m having a difficult time because I don’t have lights nor I don’t have improvised equipments such as lamps. Furthermore, I don’t have a good camera such as a DSLR for filming and just only uses my webcam throughout my entire vlogging history in Youtube. And to add the list, my laptop computer seems to be getting tired with all the things I do with it that it just randomly shuts down by itself during the rendering of videos.  My problem was further added by my video editing software but, thank God, I was able to resolve the latter when I found a good video editor during the middle of my vlog and film making study.

My third problem is lack of fund/money. Since I am not a production house that have money for future productions, I’m really having a hard time in coming up with videos because of this issue.

As a combined result of these problems, I reached a point in my life where I need to decide if I still want to continue this whole Youtube stuff considering the aforementioned problems and eventually, I did say yes to myself that I still want to do this.

Nevertheless, I think I may encounter the same point in my life in the coming days as I had problems regarding the webcam of my laptop, which, apparently means, will have a great effect in my filming considering that this webcam is my most important tool in creating Youtube videos.


I wrote this blog to gather comments from others if I still need to continue this passion of mine because if you are going to ask me, I really don’t want to stop. But as I consider the aforementioned problems, I think I may reconsider my answer and think more about it. A comment or an advise from you would be well-appreciated and I hope you can help me in deciding about what should I do. Thanks and God bless! x

Any thoughts?

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