Friday Confessions: History Repeats Itself

It has been more than a month since my new blog series started and today seems to be the part two of this whole Friday Confessions series.

In my first post in this series entitled Cold Hands, I had this experience with this stranger that literally made my hands go cold because of some unexplained feelings and emotions he gave me. He’s just an ordinary person who rides the public transportation everyday and, I don’t know, I just started having this weird feeling towards him when we were sitting beside each other (him sleeping) and his head slowly falling on my shoulder. It was after the whole trip when I realized that my hands were cold all the time which made me uncertain on what it really means.

Honestly, considering the fact that you don’t get the chance to sit beside with the same stranger again in a public transportation (that’s like 0.001% chance to happen again), I accepted the fact that I won’t see him and that life is full of so many people I may see and meet. In other words, I did not expect to see him again; not until life proved me wrong and let me see and meet him again one more time.

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It was a peaceful Saturday afternoon outside the university. Everything was doing fine and I was busy making my everyday thoughts in my head. I went to the nearest waiting shed to get a ride back home and little did I know that this is going to be another day of sitting beside him.

Unlike before where we both seem to know about the whole PDA thing (for further understanding refer to my first post haha), this jeepney ride for the day seems to be slightly different.

Frankly, I really don’t have an idea that when I sat inside the jeepney I was actually sitting beside him again and to be honest, I forgotten about my first meeting with him. All I knew is that I am sitting beside this stranger that I thought I haven’t met before and that he has a crush on me because he keeps on getting nearer and closer to me every time the driver would load passengers. I seriously thought that what he was doing was slightly creepy so when the driver unloaded passengers and he started moving gradually away from me for some space, I almost did not move from my position and just shifted my body to get a proper view of the road outside.

It was only then  when I realized that it was him when he did the same position that he did last time wherein he placed his head on his arm while holding onto the pole attached on the jeepney’s ceiling. Actually, I did not immediately recognized him but, instead, that position of his reminded me on what happened during our last meeting but I wasn’t really thinking that it was him. I even asked myself, “Wow, is this another version of Cold Hands?”

I only and FINALLY realized that I was with the same guy when the driver loaded passengers two stations before I got off from the jeepney that really made the people inside it squeeze each other’s bodies. Thus, the latter made the distance between us disappear that made our shoulders touch each other. And before we even close the distance between us, he was again sleeping (or napping) and that we were in the SAME SPOT of the jeepney where we last sat beside each other.

The latter already BLEW MY MIND because it seems that we are really destined to sit again on the same spot where we last saw each other until his head started FALLING GRADUALLY TOWARDS ON MY SHOULDER AGAIN that blew my mind MORE.

“This is him,” I told to myself while composing myself again after the realization had struck me.

And once again, I felt my hands getting cold just like before.

It’s really weird that I recognized him because of his body movements though my memory of him is slowly fading away. This INSANE. This is EXTRAORDINARY. This is MAGICAL. And I think, I’m starting to LIKE him because of that and because of the feelings and emotions he gives me every time that made me wish that I wouldn’t get off the jeepney after the last two stops because I really want to be with him more. I was literally begging inside to give me a little time to savor the moment that I’m with this guy again that makes me… happy.

The jeepney continued its route diminishing the number of stops before I will finally get off from it. Then, one more stop and I am finally getting off  the jeepney.

I really feel sorry for myself for what is happening to me. I was already losing hope of spending a little more time with him –feeling his existence and the heat of his body beside me once again. So to finally take the moment and pay the regret that I had during our last meeting, I finally looked at his face –not once but TWICE.

He was peacefully sleeping beside me but, since his head his was almost placed on my shoulder, I wasn’t able to get a full-detailed look of his face and just got a top view of it. I guess, it’s not yet the right time to see him with my full vision. So I took my gaze away from him and looked out of the window with disappointment. It was then when I saw that the vehicles around us weren’t moving and that we were stuck in traffic –a manifestation that God heard my pleading before (haha I don’t know).

It was only just a few minutes of traffic but it feels like a day of spending time with him. And during that very limited and fast time, I really and badly want him to talk to me. But, of course, the latter did not happen.

We’ve finally reached my stop and it’s finally time for me to get off. But, before I even got off, I made sure that I was with the same guy before, so I got up, looked at his feet and… it was really him; he was wearing the same style of shoes that I saw during our last meeting.

🙂 xx

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